there lived Three Princesses and a Screaming Fairy
The four sisters loved all sorts of celebrations and this year had greatly anticipated Elsaween, the day of feasting in which everyone but three people dress like Elsa, when they would parade from their Quaint Schoolhouse, around the Fair Colonial Kingdom.
Elsaween dawned bright and clear and their Dear Haggerd mother dashed off to Target early to search for Frozen party supplies for an upcoming birthday. Luckily they had a few things. She then drove through the nearest Starbucks and,when asked, agreed to upgrade her chai order to the OPRAH chai. Having long lost the confidence in her own ability to order chai, she found it best to stick with only celebrity endorsed fake tea products. It was during this series of events that The Mother realized who she was for Elsaween: American Commercial Culture Embodied. She hung her head in shame, then lifted her chin, donned her hat
Now it was this Third Princess who really brought an Air of the Unexpected to the Kingdom on this Grandest of Days, when in a moment of both enlightenment and confusion she revealed herself to be none other than
Princess DORA ANNA of ARENDALE!!!! A truly innovative new member of Disney’s Royal Company, Princess Anna Dora/Dora Anna said No More to those cold Nordic winds, equally chilly personalities, and undeniably horrid dancing, and reclaimed the pronuciation of ANNA (Ana) for Latinas everywhere. Her appearance brought together the Young Girl Marketing Campaigns of 2000 and 2014 like never before.
She also scared her Mother whenever she came around the corner.
The parade was a huge, magical, joyful success rivaled only by the Mother’s Attempt for a Group Picture:
The magic had to end at some point I suppose.